


cut off all my fingers just to touch you

by mxgicdave



Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: Aphenphosmphobia, Hand & Finger Kink, M/M, Oneshot, Outdoor Sex, PWP, Timefall, bottom higgs, establishes enemies with benefits, mildly at least, that im being admittedly a little fake deep with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:54:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21588691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxgicdave/pseuds/mxgicdave
Summary: He's always so close.Too close.
Relationships: Sam Porter Bridges/Higgs Monaghan
Comments: 9
Kudos: 368





	cut off all my fingers just to touch you

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Just Wait Til Next Year by John Maus.
> 
> I had to write something for these two they are ruining my life and I'm so desperate for content. Hope you enjoy.

He's always so close. 

Too close.

Sudden. Staccato. 

A quick sonovabitch who's always just-

Too. Fucking. _Close._

Sam exhales, his breath leaving dissipating mist on that damned golden mask, inches from his face.

He can hear Higgs inhale beneath it, taking in whatever bits of Sam he can get. Weirdo. Fucker. Sam wants to grab him by the shoulders and shove him but he stays put, a frustrated groan and recoil all that he offers.

"We're playin' nice then, Sammy-boy?" 

A familiar crack of static hits the air around them and in an instant Higgs is behind him, now unmasked face leaning over Sam's shoulder with an ever charming smile.

"I'm not playing at all, Higgs."

He means it. There's nothing playful about what they do, what they've done.

Sam can't put his finger on it and despite his unwillingness to do so, he's sure Higgs would be for once in his life lost for words if he asked what all of this meant.

_What the fuck are we doing?_

The question runs through Sam's mind as he unclasps buttons at his neck, freeing the zipper of his suit. He clanks and rumples as he undresses, eyes flicking to Higgs who watches, smug.

Its cold out and dampness hangs in the air, the ever terrifying threat of rain, a dangerous game when they're exposed like this.

Exposed, a word one wouldn't typically conflate with either of them. Sam was stoic, a man of secrets and solitude and never sticking around, Higgs so full of shit that he buried himself behind masks and capes and bravado obnoxious enough that you almost wished the world _would_ end.

But in these harsh little moments, where cold raked their bare skin, they were exposed to each other in ways neither cared to acknowledge. 

It was easier that way. It's not like anything could come of it.

Sam's shoulder aches as it presses down into soft earth. Higgs straddles him, unceremonious and smiling, relishing in the inch he is given, determined to make it a mile. Ungloved hands with short, clean nails find hold below Sam's ribcage. Every nerve seems to sing, warning, get the fuck out of here.

Higgs runs his thumb up the scar of Sam's stomach absentmindedly. 

Cold sweat beads on Sam's forehead and he's suddenly aware of every hair clinging to his cheek, the mud creeping up his neck, every groove of Higg's fingerprints etching their way into him, a touch that feels like it's reaching inside. Indescribable claustrophobia setting in despite the miles of nothing stretched out around them. He shuts his eyes with a wince, too aware of all the points where their bodies meet.

"Don't looks so sad about it, Bridges." Higg's teases. "Of all the things to be jumping you, at least be thankful this one's got a pretty face."

"Matter of opinion."

Higgs snickers, thumb pressing down into Sam's stomach, mushing down soft skin and bumping up against muscle. He looms over, sky pale grey behind him.

Higgs is usually a shadow, fleeting and dark and shapeless, but like this, Sam sees him so clear, so bright; his face severe against the rest of him, black hair and eyes look like they're trying too hard now without the rest of the effect.

Thumbnail digs into flesh and Sam's expression curdles, his own hand twisting in the grass.

"Cut the shit."

"Just a little exposure therapy, darlin-"

Sam cuts off Higg's words and deeper jab, grabbing his wrist and twisting. His palm feels numb, Higg's pulse beating up against him.

A shamefully shaky breath spills from Higg's mouth and Sam feels a chill go through them both. 

"Ha..." Higgs falters in gaining back his composure, "...'N here I thought you were starting to go soft."

Sam rolls his eyes but stops, wrenching his hand harder around Higg's wrist as the other man sinks down onto him. 

Higg's brow twitches as he does it, blue eyes squeezing shut for a moment before Sam's inside of him.

"Guess you could say the opposite." Sam lets a rare smile cross him along with a heavy exhale. His head lolling back onto the ground, mind buzzing angrily at the amount of sensation. 

His stomach turns as a jolt of pleasure runs up through him, Higgs coming up flush against his pelvis.

"Shit." Sam breathes.

Higgs huffs out a little laugh, grinding his hips down for good measure.

"Fuck you." Sam lets go of Higg's wrist, bringing the hand up to rub his eyes. There's an embarrassment that washes over him; how it's already almost too much, how it's Higgs, how theres something he starts to enjoy about the way his skin crawls.

"Tryin' to." Higgs leans forward with his retort. "So don't go crying on me."

Sam peers up from under his hand, Higg's face hovering above him. Their eyes meet, and it renders them both quiet for a moment.

Sam notices how Higg's brow puzzles, like he wants to go back to his smirking and jokes, like he's daring Sam to stop looking so closely.

But Sam doesn't break, and he can't explain why. He swallows hard, Higgs begins to shift, back and forth.

His breaths get heavy as he does, eyes staying locked in place. Sam feels almost paralyzed, the breath sucked out of him, his body too warm and too aware. 

A twitch runs through Higgs as he sits back again, and he moans, too loud. It startles Sam, awakens something, and his eyes go wide and the muscles in his back tense.

Higgs opens and closes his mouth, grasping for a snide remark but finding no footing, sharp tongue lost it's touch in Sam's heavy gaze, in the rhythm of his hips.

To both their surprise, Sam's hands find their way to Higgs' hips, providing a taste of his own medicine, fingernails digging in and rough hands like a vice.

Any chance of a comeback dies in Higgs throat as Sam pulls him down, closer, deeper. Sam's heart feels like it's ripping from his chest, his palms stinging, his ears filled with static as Higgs' face gets closer, closer.

_Always too fucking close._

The kiss doesn't register for at least a straight minute, Sam realizes he must have closed his eyes at some point, Higgs' icy stare just lingering in his mind like stars in an empty sky. 

Higgs' sighs into him, tongue careless, pressing up against his own. It's suffocating, and Sam feels himself start to panic, Higgs' body all but consuming him.

A hand flies to Higgs' face, fingers curling in, wrenching back. They both tense, the rhythm gone, frozen in a momentary battle.

Sam's fingers rest halfway inside Higgs' mouth, pulling at his lip like a snarling dog, forcing him to keep his distance.

Sam's chest heaves as he takes in the sight, their skin flushed, Higg's hair fallen in his face, eyes almost crazed, hungry, staring straight into him.

Goading him to go further. To get closer.

Sam lets his index finger fall from teeth to tongue, and the now familiar texture slips along in in response.

Higgs' rocks his hips ever so slightly, and Sam presses his finger further.

Sam's eyes close with Higg's mouth, and he struggles to process it all. 

He feels the scrape of teeth at his knuckle, the pull as Higgs' sucks in deep, the ebb and flow of their lower halves, too close, too deep, forced together pieces in a puzzle.

"I'm gonna...god dammit, I'm-"

He can't find his words. His extremities go cold, his eyes shoot open.

"Sick of me yet, Bridges?"

Black tears drip from Higg's face, and Sam blinks, the urge to hide prickling up his spine as they drip across his cheeks. He feels his own eyes begin to weep.

He doesn't know at this point if it's the chiralium or something more.

Higgs smiles, and something lies beneath it, he keeps himself steady, his hand resting above Sam's, still clutching his jaw. 

It's almost gentle, almost sad.

Sam comes with a sob and an angry stare.  
Higg's tries to look triumphant through his own shaking legs and fumbling breath.

"Sorry about this." Higgs' barely whispers.

Before Sam can ask _What For?_ Thunder cracks across the sky as Higgs finishes across Sam's chest.

For a split second theres a comfort, a warm sleepiness between them. 

It's broken instantly by a surge of static and a drip so cold that Sam cries out. 

Higgs is gone, jumped, a shadow once again. 

And it's raining. 

_Fucking bastard._

Sam scrambles to dress himself, escaping with only a drop or three more than a usual excursion would bring.

He finds his way to base, he showers, he tries not to look at the new spots of greying skin. 

He tries not to wonder what Higgs is doing now.


End file.
